Bonnie Breaks Her Oven

My friend Bonnie called this morning, "My oven is broken. Want to come shopping with me to buy a new one?  The old one is a goner."

"Really? How do you know it's broken?" I asked.  Bonnie (for those that don't know)  is not a cook, and rarely, if ever, uses her kitchen. "And, are you sure you need one?  You'll save a ton of money if you just get a toaster oven."

"Ha, you're funny!" said Bonnie. "I do use it sometimes.  That's why it's broken, actually.  I went to reheat  pizza on my pizza stone, and the whole oven starting crackling and popping and gray smoke filled the kitchen! It smelled awful!"

"You have a pizza stone?" I gasped. The fire didn't faze me.  It had happened before.

"Yes, I got one for Christmas." Bonnie said impatiently.  "Will you come with me or not? We have to stop at the paint store too.  Bobby wants to repaint the kitchen ceiling to hide the scorch marks."

"Did you leave something in there with the pizza stone?"  I couldn't help it, I was giggling a little.

"Will you stop?  But yes, the firemen found something melted in the bottom. That's what stunk so bad.  Whatever it was shorted out the electrical system.  Even those burner thingy's on top don't work anymore. Do you want to come with me or..."  Bonnie got quiet all of a sudden.

"Bonnie, you stopped talking.  What is it?"

"I just realized what was in the oven." she answered slowly.

"What was it?" I was intrigued.

"I think it was my plastic baby Jesus!"

" Your what?? Jesus!"

"That's right."

"Well how did it get in your oven?  And how did you not see a plastic baby Jesus in there when you put in the pizza?"

"It  must have got jammed in the back.  And I hadn't put the pizza in yet.  I was preheating the oven first.  I tossed it in there a couple of days ago when company came over. It was sitting on the counter and I wanted it out of the way. I forgot to put it in with the rest of the Christmas decorations, so it wasn't put away yet." she explained as if  all of this was logical."

"So you broke your oven by baking a baby Jesus."  I marveled. It was wrong on so many levels.

"You make it sound bad. It's not like I did it on purpose!" Bonnie said defensively. "Are you coming with me, or not?" she snapped.

"Of course I'll come with you." I said. "Maybe we can still find a sale on Christmas nativity figures. You're going to need a new baby Jesus. We can get you an oven and hey, we'll skip the plastic and get a ceramic, ovenproof  Jesus this time. We can get them both, and the paint in one trip.  It'll be fun!" I was enthusiastic.

"I wish I hadn't told you." Bonnie complained. "I'm never going to hear the end of this!"

"Can I tell the  salesperson what happened?"

"I hate you. " said Bonnie.