Bonnie's curse

Bonnie: "If I tell you something, are you going to make fun of me?"

Me: "Yes, but don't let that stop you."

Bonnie sighed: "I wanted to try cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year, like everyone else, so I thought I would work the kinks out and try a chicken first. So I did last night."

Me: "So, how did that go?"  I couldn't wait for her answer

Bonnie: "It started out OK.  I had a plan and I was pretty proud of myself, because I remembered to shave a half hour off the cooking time because I was going to cook a chicken instead of a turkey. To make a long story short, it came out shriveled and the stuffing was way too salty."

Me: "Go on."

Bonnie:  "It started to get bad when I saw what the inside of a chicken looks like.  That threw me.  Oh my god, it's gross and slimy! Why the hell are chicken hollow anyway?" she shuddered, remembering. "Oh and the Food Channel really should be more specific on what they mean when they say "season generously" with salt and pepper.  Apparently, it doesn't mean a handful!"

Me: I made sympathetic noises, but didn't want to interrupt.

Bonnie: "Anyway, I've given up that stupid idea about cooking for Thanksgiving. But that's not what I wanted to tell you.  What I wanted to tell you is that  this all started when I cooked my Barbie Doll!"

Me: "Wait! What?"  this was too weird even for Bonnie.

Bonnie:  "Well, I know that sounds crazy,  but when I was about eight, I melted off my favorite Barbie's face in  my Easy Bake Oven. I was trying to straighten her hair. Anyway all of my bad cooking experiences seemed to start right then. You know, it's kind of like our friend Olive, who never learned to drive, because the first time that she did, she drove through the front of a convenient store."

Me: "I thought Barbie already had straight hair." ignoring the other part of what she said.

Bonnie: "Yeah, well, I was eight.  Wait a minute, it wasn't Barbie either.  What's the name of Barbie's flat-chested friend?"

I had to think a minute.

Me: "You mean her little sister Skipper? Her hair was already straight too."

Bonnie. "Yeah! It was her!"

Me: "So your saying you can't cook because you accidentally melted your flat-chested Skipper doll, after trying to straighten her already straight hair in your Easy Bake Oven?"

Bonnie. "Wait, maybe it was Midge! Wasn't there another doll named Midge?"

Me: " If I were cursed by my favorite doll, I would make a point to remember which one it was!"

Bonnie: "Oh shut up! I knew I'd be sorry if I told you!"